Monthly Archives: May 2017

The Price of Dreams

The Price of Dreams:

To fulfill your purpose and achieve your dreams, you must be willing to do whatever it takes, and there’s always a price.

Those who fulfill their purpose know that there are three forces that will either motivate people to achieve or give up. The first two forces: Avoiding pain and seeking pleasure are fueled by desperation. The third force is inspiration, which transcends everything.

So get inspired. Be inspired. INSPIRE! When you’re inspired, you embrace both pain and pleasure in the pursuit of your purpose.

With wisdom you look back at your life and realize that every single event, person, place, and idea was part of the perfected experience you needed to build your dream.

The bigger the crisis, the bigger the blessing!

If you want to excel at something, then let no day go by without dedicating your life 100 percent to making it happen.

Time is precious.

 

-Bits taken from Dr. John F. Demartini (The Breakthrough Experience: A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transformation)

Am I Nice?

We all think we are a nice person, and when we act in an unloving way, we justify it by blaming the other person’s behavior. Sometimes we believe that by being “mean back” in those moments, we can teach them a lesson, or “inspire” them to change.

Mathematically, that equation simply doesn’t add up. It is impossible to use a negative action, like anger, to produce positive genuine actions, like love.

Maybe the other person’s behavior is intolerable, but when we use their behavior to justify being intolerable ourselves, we mold ourselves into that same ugliness we are trying to change.

To continue having a bad attitude because “someone did something you didn’t like” will only end up with us hating ourselves. We slowly become more and more like the person we despise. When we do not like ourselves, all we get is unhappiness, bitterness, loneliness, and neediness. So if you think about it, KINDNESS and LOVE always win.

How to Solve Our Human Problems

New reading and it is beyond AWESOME. Just wanted to share…

When things go wrong in our life and we encounter difficult situations, we tend to regard the situation itself as our problem, but in reality whatever problems we experience come from the side of the mind.

If we responded to difficult situations with positive or peaceful mind they would not be problems for us. Eventually we might even regard them as challenges or opportunities for growth and development.

Problems arise only if we respond to difficulties with a negative state of mind. Therefore, if we want to be free from problems, we must transform our mind.

 

-How to Solve Our Human Problems, by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

Life Hack: Feeling is Healing

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Feeling is healing. But “feeling” is not the same as “expressing our emotions”. A great example of the difference between feeling and expressing is this: The other day my older son took a toy from my 1 year-old. My 1 year-old felt really upset about that. He expressed his feelings in two ways: first, he screamed, and then he tried to hit his big brother. While neither are what we would call “good behavior”, unfortunately, they both are pretty normal for that age. Fortunately, we grow up and realize that hitting and screaming don’t get us what we want and usually don’t solve the problems we think we have. Ideally, with the help of positive role models and experience, we learn alternative, more healthy and productive ways of expressing what it is that we are feeling and are able to discern if expressing is even necessary.

Paradoxically, when we feel something and are unable to express it, the feelings are left unattended and can lead to personal and internal negative consequences like a build up of resentment, anger, self-loathing, and sometimes even depression. What’s interesting, though, is that even if we do express what we feel, if we do it in an unhealthy way (like hitting, yelling, screaming, threatening, hurting ourselves, getting drunk, engaging in unhealthy sexual behavior, etc.) we are still left feeling pretty crappy in the end, maybe even a little embarrassed, and mostly unresolved.
*** This is the beauty of life. ***
I think being human IS THIS. An experiment (maybe even a game?) of feeling something and then trying to express it so that it can be resolved. If we are successful, we identify and implement the healthy ways of expression (which for me usually comes with trial and error…lots of error…). If you think about it this way, literally EVERYONE can be a winner! Every opportunity that passes through our life is an opportunity to learn expression – and from expression comes resolution. From resolution comes resilience and ultimately, an openness and love for all that life has to offer (good and bad).
Feeling to heal isn’t just about expressing negative feelings. Positive feelings also need equal expression. Did you know there are actually people that have a hard time expressing gratitude and joy? I know because I used to be one of them (and sometimes still struggle with this). People afraid to show ANY emotion. Interestingly, the consequences of not expressing even our positive feelings leave us (and sometimes others) feeling bummed. Imagine feeling immense joy at your baby’s birth but being completely expressionless and not showing any emotion? Imagine being at your own wedding with an expressionless face? This is why how we express our feelings is so important! It’s a way to connect with ourselves and others.

But in order to heal what’s hurting inside us, we first have to feel it, and to “feel” it means we open ourselves up to it. In other words, we look at it, we allow ourselves to have those feelings, face them, and honestly acknowledge them. They are real! If they weren’t, you wouldn’t have them. To open ourselves up to what is going on inside of us and allow it to flow through is key. Yes, sometimes that means shedding a tear or two! But sometimes the feelings can be so intense we freeze or want to run from them! The good news is that feeling our feelings doesn’t require us to express it immediately or at all. It just requires you to honestly see it and say hello to it.

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This is where the magic lies! Once we are able to honestly see it and say hello to it, somehow, we then are able to successfully and productively express it.
So the next time something happens and you feel something (let’s take anger for example), try saying something like, “oh, something in me is feeling anger. Hello anger. So this is what anger feels like. Yes, I am feeling anger right now.”

I know it sounds cheesy, but it works! What do we do with that anger once we’ve said hello to it? We’ve owned it, we’ve acknowledged it, and we’ve totally taken it in our complete control. We are now empowered with a life-changing opportunity to ask ourselves, “OK! I see am feeling anger right now. How do I want to express that?”

Oftentimes, we realize that we either don’t need to after all, OR we are at a MUCH better place emotionally and mentally to find a truly positive and productive (and less harming way) of resolving the underlying problem.

Life can be hard. Why make it more difficult than it has to be?

Human Being

Human being, not human doing. We are here to be, to experience. Others are here to experience BEING and they are also a part of our experience. Every human experiences “being” differently. It’s truly an art form and every one is their own artist. We are quick to judge art that doesn’t look “good” according to our standards, and quick to applaud that which soothes, intrigues, and inspires us. 

There are those we let in and those we keep out of our experience of “being” human. While everyone is unique to our experience “Special people” are those we are drawn to (like family, friends, lovers, etc.) who are equally here to experience “being” human with us. The problem is that we get attached to the roles we think they should be playing, and become ruffled when the image we had of them in our mind isn’t what we thought. So we become frantic trying to find a way to shape them back into the form we wanted them to take in our life, and at that moment the experience is lost.
It is lost because we aren’t there to experience them anymore. We are there to control or to get a specific outcome that pleases us, or to mold people into something that makes our life more comforting or less threatening. Our experiences become expectations and desires.

Desire… wanting a specific outcome from an experience… it’s what makes the pursuit of the experience so exhilarating. It’s the fuel to the fire of our motivation. But the journey is where the treasure lies. This is what human BEING is all about.