Category Archives: Purpose

Mar 06 2019
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Mindfulness, Purpose

Where does the power to do what is right come from?

why bother

What is it that drives us to make a choice to follow one path or another? To commit to one thing but not another? We certainly don’t know what we are actually signing up for when we make that choice. Emotions change. Life changes. People change. Perhaps what we are going off of is an innate desire to find or feel purpose in our life.

We are born with some deep ingrained intention (which could be also seen as a “purpose”; i.e., “why am I here?”), which is likely developed by either what is fed to us as children, something we create on our own, or a mixture of the two. In most cases we don’t fully understand this “purpose” or “intention” until we’re older (some never understanding or even contemplating it).

Nevertheless our actions are guided by these, whether they be conscious or subconscious. But somehow, in our darkest moments, our intentions/innate and individually defined purpose(s) sneaks back into our mind and reminds us who we are, and to hold strong and move forward, or else we will be violating our ‘agreement’ to our purpose in life. It serves as a motivation in life and an internal compass when we’ve lost our way. Some people refer to it as our “internal GPS”.

And that’s where struggle and suffering comes in. That’s where maturity comes in. Until we see life as it really is (shit doesn’t always work out in our favor, things don’t go according to plan, and sometimes we gotta jump ship and give up), BOTH the great and the devastatingly disappointing pieces of life must be accepted, or we won’t be able to fully mature. And when things go south, there’s that miraculous reappearance of our “internal GPS”. As humans we are constantly going off course from our “path”. Did you know planes are off course 90% of the time?! They just keep correcting according to the GPS. And so do humans. We just don’t realize we have this internal GPS that’s guiding us.  Those who are more aware and in tune with their internal GPS tend to self-correct frequently and very quickly. Those who are not as aware tend to take a bit more time (and unfortunately some end up crashing, having to put themselves back together and trying over again).

Getting in touch with our internal GPS is risky, scary, and quite challenging. It means sacrificing temporary moments of pleasure or pleasantness for a longer, and much more delayed gratification. And in that time of sacrifice, we know nothing. Will it work out? Will we fail? Will our partner cheat on us, or lie to us, or die on us? Is this a good investment? Will I lose my job? Will I get cancer? We never know. One thing we have to remember is that our purpose is never fulfilled. Goals can be fulfilled, but our purpose isn’t. Because that is our lifeline. If I were to tell you my intention is “to be the best version of myself” in all times, I could also tell you that I fail majority of the time, and that I can’t say “I did it!” 6 months down the road, or even 20 years down the road. It’s a constant battle that guides me, my choices, and how I life my life daily.

Why bother!?
That’s where faith comes in. Following our internal GPS requires devotion; not to a person or thing, or even an idea, but to something bigger than ourselves. A faith that when we continue to follow our path, we will find what we are looking for. And this is the beauty of life. Balancing our reality of being human with our hopes, dreams, and desire to fulfill our “purpose” while we are alive here on Earth. We balance it all, taking care of ourselves along the way. Balance…

Dec 25 2018
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Be The Change, Healing, Purpose

Your Legacy

There’s a theory- well, it’s actually a “law” (The Law of Thermodynamics, to be precise)- that claims energy can neither be created nor destroyed. The basic idea is that energy can only be transferred or transformed from one thing to another.

You’re probably thinking “WTH does this have to do with my legacy?“. Well, assuming this “law” is true, this means that the energy in and around us is always there. There isn’t ever a time or place with “no energy”. The energy is either neutral (conserved), positive, or negative. I’m definitely not a physicist, and for all I know what I’m saying is total nonsense… but if I’m happy I’m emitting positive energy. If I’m pissed, I am emitting negative energy. And there are sometimes when I’m just not happy or pissed, but I’m just kinda “there” (i.e., “neutral”).

When I’m mad, my “energy” or “vibes” tend to pour over into others around me. People can sense my mood. When I’m full of joy, people tend to reap the benefits of my joyful mood. We have the potential power to take our “energy” and affect those around us in a positive or negative way.

And THIS is where your legacy comes into play.

In thinking about our short time here on Earth, we don’t have a lot to leave behind. I know some people may think that living until 100 seems like a long time, but it really isn’t. We are born, we go through this awkward phase of learning how to walk, talk, and get along with others, and for most of us, we actually die still trying (or not trying…who knows…)

But the point is, in this short time, the only thing we think we leave behind is the memory of who we are and what we contributed to the world while we were alive, but memories can only go so far. On the other hand, if energy can neither be created nor destroyed, then what happens with our energy when we’re gone?

All the times we bestowed grace and love on those that carried negative energy… all those times, instead of adding to the fire of hate, we diluted the flames with kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and love (all of these towards ourselves and others)…

Feeling horrible sometimes is inevitable. Loss and pain (physical or emotional) is inevitable in life and it’s only natural to feel what we feel. But I don’t think that our feelings are “the energy”. The energy that is transferred and transformed by us and through us is in how we respond and process those feelings.

The key is not to turn off our humanness, our feelings, emotions, but rather take a step back, maybe even take a few breaths (or more) and really consider what kind of energy we are putting out there.

Even if we do nothing, energy, by the law of nature, will naturally spread out. It’s like a hot pot that has been removed from the stove: eventually it’s going to cool down. The energy spreads out of the pot and into the air.

So here I am thinking, we have 3 choices: we spew out negative energy, positive energy, or somehow try to find a way to conserve our energy or at least keep it neutral, because it’s here to stay, and it’s indestructible.

This, I believe, is where your legacy is. It can’t be seen with our eyes, and sometimes it isn’t directly or automatically felt, but if the law is true, I believe we are always leaving our mark and establishing an unforgettable legacy.

Make it a good one.

legacy

(Photo found on trinity Roselle foundation; no copyright infringement intended)
Dec 25 2018
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Healing, Purpose

One in the Same

If we were to classify all the suffering in the world, I bet it could likely all fall into one (or more) of only a handful of categories:

* Things didn’t work out the way I hoped or expected/Things aren’t going the way I wanted them to.
* Someone said or did something I didn’t like.
* Something someone did made me feel threatened/offended/hurt.
* I feel lonely/rejected/neglected/abandoned.
* I don’t feel connected to others/People don’t understand me.
* I’m grieving the loss of someone.

There’s probably a few more, but for the most part, in a modern world, I think all our suffering could generally (albeit broadly) fit into one of the above six categories. But what I also came to realize is that not only is our suffering one in the same, but so is our response to it.

If we were to then categorize how we respond to our suffering, the grandiosity in our response is almost entirely based off the amount of control we think we actually have in any given situation, which is more often than not, overly miscalculated.

In other words, the more control we think we have, the more extreme our response. The less control we think we have, the less extreme our response.
For example (and these categories are far more extensive):
* I can change their mind or teach them to do what I want them to do or behave they way I want them to behave so that I don’t have to feel like this anymore.
* If I do x, then I can make this situation change towards my liking so that I don’t have to feel like this anymore.
* If I fill my life/mind//body/etc. with x, y, z, I won’t have to feel like this anymore.

Perhaps the extent of the damage we cause in trying to relieve ourselves from our perceived suffering can be minimized when we finally accept and realize that we cannot control others, and in almost all other cases of suffering, there isn’t much we can do about shit that didn’t go the way we wanted it to. Just like the joy that comes in and out of our life, suffering is simply a part of that: the opposite side of the spectrum. Without one you can’t have the other, and as much as we like to delude ourselves into thinking the opposite, there is not one single person on Earth that is immune from suffering.

In the above cases, we see that we are trying to control external circumstances, which can sometimes be seen as “working” until we realize it wasn’t a long term viable solution, but rather a short-lived distraction to get us by until we can find another one. We’re constantly on the search for an escape from suffering or discomfort. This feels like a constant war with the world, which has got to feel like a truly crappy way to live.

Eventually, we come to realize that the only thing we will ever have control over is our attitude and how we face suffering and discomfort. It won’t make reality any different than what it is, but at least you are no longer going to war with reality. You stop fighting others because you realize we are all one in the same. You become allies with Life. You come to understand your fellow humans a little better. And life gets just a little bit easier, because you get just a little bit better at dealing with it.

Dec 21 2018
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Be The Change, Healing, Purpose

Growing Up and Being a Mature Person

Some may argue that maturity comes with age. Some argue it comes with experience. I don’t know which one is right, but maybe it’s both. What I have learned at my ripe age, is that maturity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. It’s about being honest, and it’s about not letting the desire for pleasure or fear of pain be the motivation for the decisions we make in our life.

Immature people speak and behave based on their current emotions and personal feelings. This behavior is based on their understanding of rules, trade-offs, and the social order around them.

For an immature person, everything is seen as a trade-off. These children (and a shocking number of adults) approach life as an endless series of bargains. I will do what my boss says so I can get money. I will call my mother so I don’t get yelled at. I will do my homework so I don’t fuck up my future. I will lie and pretend to be nice so I don’t have to deal with conflict.

Nothing is done for its own sake. Everything is a calculated trade-off, usually made out of fear of the negative repercussions.

You can’t live your life this way, otherwise, you’re never actually living your life. You’re merely living out an aggregation of the desires of the people around you. In a sense, you’re a slave. To become a mature and emotionally healthy individual, you gotta break out of this bargaining and calculating way of thinking, and realize the higher guiding principles.

“Ideally, after some time, we will begin to realize that the world cannot always be bargained with, nor should we subject every aspect of our life to a series of transactions. You don’t want to bargain with your father for love, or your friends for companionship, or your boss for respect. Why? Because feeling like you have to manipulate people into loving or respecting you feels shitty. It undermines the whole project. If you have to convince someone to love you, then they don’t love you. If you have to cajole someone into respecting you, then they don’t respect you. The most precious and important things in life cannot be bargained with. To try to do so destroys them.”

You cannot manipulate happiness.

While people who navigate the world through bargaining and rules can get far in the material world, they remain crippled and alone in their emotional world. This is because transactional values create toxic relationships — relationships that are built on manipulation.

A mature adult gives without expectation, without seeking anything in return, because to do so defeats the purpose of a gift in the first place.
Life is far more complicated than simply pursuing one’s pleasure and avoiding pain.

As children grow up, they experience the shocking realization that the world does not cater to their whims, and that the only things in life of real value and meaning are achieved without conditions, and without transactions.

As a mature adult, you sit and think critically about yourself and about what you’ve chosen to care about, not through word, but through deed.

What level of maturity are you actually operating on?

Sit down, get honest with yourself, and really pick apart whether or not your interpretations of your actions actually make sense. Are you just deluding yourself? Do your actions reflect what you think is important? If not, where is the disconnect?

Happiness and health come when there is no disconnect with your virtues and your thoughts and behaviors.

Don’t get me wrong: The problem is not you. The problem is what you’re choosing to value, how you’re choosing to see the world and the way in which it operates.
You didn’t fuck up because you caused pain. You fucked up because you caused pain for bad reasons.

Sometimes we think we are the mature ones, so we go around trying to make others “mature like us”. But you can’t go from a child to an adult without being an adolescent in between.

Maturity happens when we realize that it’s better to suffer for the right reasons than to feel pleasure for the wrong reasons. Adulthood occurs when we realize that it’s better to love fully and unconditionally and lose, than to never know what it means to really love, and what LOVE is really about.

Eventually you learn what pain is worthwhile, and what pain is just kicking you further from inner peace and joy. Choose wisely.

grow up

(NOTE: This is a summary and interpretation of one of my all-time favorite authors, Mark Manson, in his article “How to Grow the Fuck Up: A Guide to Humans”; a VERY long, but VERY WORTH TAKING THE TIME TO READ piece I absolutely LOVE.)
Nov 26 2018
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Gratitude, Purpose

Finding “The One”

the one

If you want to find “the Perfect Person” you must die and go to heaven, because the Perfect Person does not exist on this Earth…

And what if we die and we find out there is no “heaven”?

What if we are all perfect, in our own unique ways. What if here, right now, is Heaven? What if we are creating our own Hell?

No one is without flaw. No one has their shit together. We don’t need to look for the perfect person, because that person does not exist. Nor will you ever be perfect, so don’t feel bad if you come with your own baggage.

Rather, focus on developing skills that help you cope with and overcome your unhealthy behaviors. Be with someone, who in their imperfections, also develops and cultivates healthy coping mechanisms to overcome their own unhealthy behaviors.

It’s inevitable that we will find ourselves with imperfect people. This is life. This is something we have absolutely no control over. But we always have a choice to put our focus and energy on cultivating healthy coping and processing tools, and to be in relationship only with those that value and commit to that same level of accountability.

We can spend our short earthly lives searching for things and people that simply do not exist… or we can put our energy on finding peace with who you are, and where you are in life right NOW…

Ironically, where we are in life and who we are is also constantly changing. Being able to flow like water in that inevitable changing… now THAT, I believe is heaven.

Nov 25 2018
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Gratitude, Purpose

On Purpose

When we feel we belong, when we feel we have purpose, we thrive. Not only do we feel more motivated to do our daily tasks, but we are also less likely to get stuck in depression or remain discouraged when various things in life don’t go our way – because the external events don’t take you off course from your purpose.

purpose

Even if our set goals don’t work out as planned, we still see the bigger picture – the bigger PURPOSE, because goals aren’t our purpose. Goals are bullet points you put in place that enable to to act on your purpose.

goals

Your purpose is why you are here. Your purpose isn’t limited to one thing either. We can have many purposes in our life. Our purpose(s) aren’t what we “should” do, either, but rather what we feel in the depth of our heart, what we are called to do. And sometimes that isn’t always in line with what we want to do.

One of my purposes in life is to be the best mom I can be to my kids: to make them feel that they belong, to feel that they have a forever home, and to feel that they have an unconditionally loving and supportive family. In order to fulfill that purpose it takes work. I have to do things I don’t want to do, and be patient when I’m reeling inside and exhausted. I have to be a kind, loving, and cooperative co-parent with their father. That brings me to the other purpose: to be the best teammate I can be when working in collaboration with others.

When working on a team, this means I have to be considerate of their needs, wants, feelings, and also be patient and forgiving with them. If they slack off or drop the ball sometimes, I can extend compassion and patience, because I would want to be afforded that same level of patience and forgiveness when I inevitably screw up.

Being a good teammate is a learned skill. We aren’t born with it. It takes practice. In order to fulfill my purpose I have to practice it daily and look for opportunities in how I can apply it in my every day life. When I’m driving, I’m technically “collaborating” and working as a team with other drivers on the road to drive in a manner that does not reject their needs, desires, or safety. To do so I must be the best driver I can be. I should not text and drive, drink and drive, speed, or drive distracted, because to do so prioritizes MY desires over theirs, which is not good teamwork.

But putting others first NEVER means putting myself last. Being a pushover does NOT make a good teammate, because that would mean I’m lying to myself and others, and liars don’t make good teammates. When my teammates are not being a good teammate, I don’t need to hold resentment, because it is MY goal; it is MY purpose to serve as the best teammate, and my purpose may or may not be theirs. There is no “me” in team. It’s “we”. If I am thinking about doing something and my mind goes to, “well, what am I gonna get out of this?” it is best to simply not do whatever it is I was thinking of doing, because to do something in expectation of receiving something is NOT love. It is NOT good teamwork. I do it because it is in me to do it, because I want to do it, because it is action I choose to take (or not) to fulfill my purpose. To give with expectations of getting something in return is just begging to break my team with my bitterness and resentment. In being a great teammate, I know that my goal is not to shove the burden of carrying my emotional baggage onto someone else.

If I want to connect with them, and to share my feelings about their behavior, I know that the way I do that can be the way of a good teammate (loving, compassionate, open-minded, inquisitive, honest, and vulnerable), or like a bad teammate (accusatory, withdrawn, and resentful). Obviously, if I know what my purpose is, I know what I need to do.

Part of being a good teammate is being a good listener because it sends the message: what you have to say matters to me. Not just because I care about you, but because if I can’t understand you or where you’re coming from, I can’t serve my role as a good teammate very effectively. Being a good listener requires that I listen with the intention of understanding; not to judge, or respond, or defend my position.

The list goes on and on about how I can be a good teammate. But the point is, when we focus on our purpose, everything else just seems to make sense. Everything else just seems to “fall into place” just as it should. Every action or event in our life seems to perfectly serve our purpose. Every moment, every micro-moment, and every person that comes in and out of our lives has come to help you fulfill your purpose. Sometimes we think if they are not doing what we want them to do, they are not being a good teammate to us. We think they are trying to prevent us from achieving our goals. But what if we just changed the way we looked at things?

If you try to change the way you view the world, there is never a dull moment! Each opportunity is another grand opportunity for you to challenge yourself, to practice and polish your skills at whatever purpose you have, and become truly successful and fulfilled.

Feb 22 2018
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Healing, Mindfulness, Purpose

A Prayer for World Peace

monk-hands-faith-person-45178.jpeg(This excerpt is from the book is called “Pray, Meditate, or Both?”)

A common question is, “What’s the harm in praying for world peace?” And the problem is in the idea that it’s somebody else’s responsibility to make peace happen. It begins with you. So if you want to know how close we are to world peace, look within.

Prayer and meditation are both wonderful. In-fact, reciting a prayer is a common meditation practice (like the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, for example). Where there is hatred within, train your mind to sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. Do not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; or to be loved as to love; for it’s in giving that we receive, it’s in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it’s by letting go of the concept of a separate “self”, that we are born to eternal life.

By being grateful for what we have, we generate energy toward more of the same. So don’t focus on what you DON’T have, because energy flows where attention goes (you would just wind up with more of what you don’t want). Meditate to keep your mind firmly fixed in the right direction, and it will raise your awareness of things to be grateful-for in your prayers. See the beautiful relationship between the two practices?

 

Jun 26 2017
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Healing, Purpose

To Live Your Message

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What’s your mission statement?

I was asked that a few months ago and was like, “ummmm…can I get back to you on that?”

What sucks about having a mission statement is the accountability that comes with it. So you have a mission statement that boldly states what you’re all about. Your purpose, your passion, your whole reason for existing… and then the big question that inevitably follows it: So what are you doing to achieve that?

Gulp…

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but it took me a few years to respond to that question. And here it is:

To live my message.

If ever a mission statement, this for me, felt like a truly powerful and empowering one. I didn’t need to be perfect, I was allowed to make mistakes. Having a mission statement with a specific “goal” in mind (like world peace, or eliminating poverty, or curing cancer…whatever) is extremely intimidating, and honestly, probably unrealistic. But this- living my message, sounded pretty practical and like something I could definitely do.

It was basically daily accountability to do the things I say I’m going to do,
avoid doing the things I say I’m not going to do,
and find flexibility and forgiveness somewhere in the middle.

So the real question isn’t about having a mission to change others or to make some dramatic dent in the world, but to be as truthful, honest, and real as I can possibly be at all times, and hopefully, that helps others feel free to be as truthful, honest, and real as they can be as well. In that, I find freedom, hope, and love. No rules, no super out-of-reach impossible goals to achieve within x-amount of time. No one-size-fits-all rules and expectations.

To do this only required one thing: to be brutally, rigorously honest about who I was and what I was about. No more people-pleasing. No more looking outside me to fill what was lacking inside.

As I began my path of discovery, healing, and self-love, I began to have a lot of “aha moments” and “epiphanies” that I was desperate to share with others (hence this blog). It was tempting to insist that my friends and family do what I was doing, think what I was thinking, and heal the way I was healing. I secretly judged… Sorry…

Little did I realize, though, was that by focusing on the progress and struggles of others, it would not only take away from my own recovery but pull me back. Significantly…

What I found was that in order to help others, or carry a message of healing to those who still suffer, was that I can’t “pull them along” in my own struggles. I had to live my message.

We learn only through our commitment to our own healing and growth. We carry that message of hope and strength by living it; by serving as an example. I believe it is not us who share the message, but the message that shares itself as it comes out in our daily actions and attitude.

If so, what was I sharing?

Self-improvement, personal development, healing, recovery- whatever you want to call it, is all a very intimate process that somehow unfolds itself uniquely in each individual, which is why it requires rigorous honesty, intention, and personal effort and commitment. We recover not through the advice of others, and not by doing things the way others do them, but by committing to healing ourselves, every day, in whatever way works.

No matter how far we have come, we do not have the ability to “teach” people how to live. We do not have the divine knowledge of what is the best path for others to take, and we do not have the right to insist that one way is better than another. We rely on a “program” that works for us and our personal relationship with some form of Higher Power, even if that Higher Power is your dog. Seriously. Whatever works. We never attempt to be another person’s “Higher Power”. All we know, by walking our talk is what worked for us, and this is evident not though an intense advising session but through our actions, thoughts, and behaviors.

It would be truly arrogant of me to try and teach something in which I had no experience or knowledge in, and that lack of experience or knowledge isn’t the things I’ve learned.

The thing I know absolutely nothing about and have no experience with is,
“what’s best for someone else.” 

Naturally, when we find something that works to make our lives better, we want to share it with the world. We want others to know and feel the freedom and joy that we once only dreamed of having. But our message, our product, that “thing” we hold dear to us, we only carry it because it carried us. Through a lot of inner-work, and commitment to bettering ourselves, it has now become a part of us, and through this, we are able to carry it in return. And that is how we live our message.

mahatma-gandi-qoute-hd-wallpapers

Jun 02 2017
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Purpose

The 3 Biggest Challenges

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As nasty a pill as it is to swallow, my biggest challenge in life is…myself.

I get in my own way. You get in your own way. We all get in our own way, every single time. When I find myself feeling pretty crappy, my go-to is to blame the person that was involved in whatever event that I was feeling crappy about. But if I dig deep enough, I realize that it is either because I simply lacked tolerance toward the behavior or attitude because it fell short of my personal expectations, OR, that behavior or attitude left me feeling insignificant.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Such simple yet profound wisdom. I used to let everything outside of me (the way people looked at me, talked to me, didn’t talk to me, treated me, didn’t treat me, the job I got, the job I didn’t get, etc.) suck all the energy out of me and define my value (and mood!). Now let’s be honest; putting that much power into something that is completely out of my control is…frankly…stupid. REALLY, REALLY stupid.

One of the main reasons I started Soulful Detox was precisely because of this idea that, maybe, I needed a total makeover- a “soul” detox- something to clear out and transform all of those unhelpful beliefs that kept me feeling so…bad.  Through a lot of inner reflection and work, I have come to narrow the biggest challenges I personally had to face, to 3 things. And here they are:

CHALLENGE #1: Thinking that who I am is limited to my body: “Your body is but a vessel,” said someone (I don’t know who). If that’s true, what is it that is being carried inside? Yeah… think about that for a moment. Most people would say something like, “my soul.” The Earth is approximately 4.54 ± 0.05 billion years and some change… I’m 35 years old. That means that compared to our cumulative existence, my life and everything I hold dear to me is not even a fraction of a second long, and yet it seems that I spend copious amounts of time thinking I’m too fat, too ugly, too wrinkly, my teeth are crooked, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not sexy enough, my hair isn’t perfect… All that shit is “shallow” shit. Why spend so much energy rowing a boat in shallow water? By doing so I ended up creating meaningless, shallow relationships that reinforce and remind me that I need to constantly try harder to decorate my “vessel” so that I can feel good about myself. What sucks about this way of thinking, is not only that people end up using you and leaving you regardless of what you look like, you don’t have any control over it. We age, shit happens, and we are constantly required to “fix” what other people aren’t embracing at the moment. Non-stop madness… So if my body is nothing but a vessel, then what if I spent all my time and energy beautifying the soul within instead? That is much more empowering. My point? Take care of the vessel, it’s how you get from one place to another on this short, short journey in life, but YOU ARE NOT the vessel.

CHALLENGE #2: Thinking that my thoughts and feelings are not important or flawed: When I was young, I used to run from anything that didn’t feel “positive”. If I was angry or felt rejected, I would internalize all of it and either blame the other person for being “horrible” or I would blame myself and think I was unworthy. When something positive happened, I would give the credit to everyone but myself, and downplay my excitement and pride in my accomplishments, afraid that I would be coming off as a pompous b*tch. As I got older, I picked and chose which thoughts and feelings were “acceptable” and which ones I felt I had to ignore. Feelings of love and compassion were ok, and feelings of insecurity and anger were not ok. This left me feeling like a fake- an imposter. Instead of recognizing that the bad thoughts are just as important, profound, and useful as the good ones, I only wanted others (and myself) to see the good and not the “bad”. Shame at its worse. Now that I’m “old”, I realize that hatred, anger, jealousy, sadness, grief, insecurity… ALL of these feelings, in addition to the wondrous good feelings, are here to teach me more about myself. When I’m feeling angry or insecure, I am no longer afraid to sit with that and do some serious inner reflection… WHY am I feeling so angry? What is going on inside me that is making me feel so insecure and unimportant? Going back to the vessel metaphor, ALL of this is what is in my vessel, and ALL of it needs tended to.

CHALLENGE #3: Thinking that motivation is something that comes to me, and not something that I’m personally responsible for creating on my own: It’s hella hard to stay committed to something we decided we wanted to do when that rush of  motivation we had at the time we decided to commit to it is nowhere to be found. There was a position in the office I’d had my eyes on for a while, and it required a specific certification that I tested for twice and failed. Why did I fail? I didn’t read or study for the test. I just glanced over the material, winged it, and hoped I could get ‘close enough’ and pass. A year went by and I vowed that I would study for the test this time and pass. I definitely wanted the job! Months went by and my motivation to pick up that 3-inch thick book on federal regulations was still not appealing to me… It sat on my desk, for months, opened to Chapter 1… Life got busy. That was my excuse. Now I realize, it was simply a choice. I didn’t want it bad enough and I was waiting for something outside me to motivate me enough to pick up the book and read it. Motivation doesn’t come to you. That’s inspiration. Inspiration comes to you. Motivation, the drive to stay committed to something long after the feelings we had at the time we decided to pursue it have dissipated, is born and grown through action. When obstacles get in the way and our feelings are saying, “let’s start from tomorrow….today, let’s party” is when that thing inside your vessel (your soul) can come to the front and center, or you can continue ignoring it.

I’ve learned that ignoring my soul only leads to suffering, and I kinda don’t like suffering. Especially for shallow things. Adopting this kind of self-empowerment has made a world of difference to me, and has helped me navigate through some pretty shitty and rough waters as I ride this vessel. The deeper the water, the smoother the ride. Go Deep.

May 26 2017
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Purpose

The Price of Dreams

The Price of Dreams:

To fulfill your purpose and achieve your dreams, you must be willing to do whatever it takes, and there’s always a price.

Those who fulfill their purpose know that there are three forces that will either motivate people to achieve or give up. The first two forces: Avoiding pain and seeking pleasure are fueled by desperation. The third force is inspiration, which transcends everything.

So get inspired. Be inspired. INSPIRE! When you’re inspired, you embrace both pain and pleasure in the pursuit of your purpose.

With wisdom you look back at your life and realize that every single event, person, place, and idea was part of the perfected experience you needed to build your dream.

The bigger the crisis, the bigger the blessing!

If you want to excel at something, then let no day go by without dedicating your life 100 percent to making it happen.

Time is precious.

 

-Bits taken from Dr. John F. Demartini (The Breakthrough Experience: A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transformation)

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